Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
We're exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on twelve.
Why worry? Each one of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
He slimed me.
What about the Twinkie?
All right. This chick is toast!
Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.
Is that how you say hello where you come from?
It was horrible. A giant leech got me.
You like your guys with frowned upper teeth?
On me in 3, 2, 1.
Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you have some kind of a line that you keep open for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.
Can I have one more of these with some booze in it, please?
Yo, momma! Isn't there any hot water?
Don't mess with me, pork chop? What day is this?
Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.
Morons, your bus is leaving.
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piņa coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters.
You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car?
What if there were no tomorrow?
We could do whatever we want.
[ driving car ]
It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah: "Don't drive on the railroad track."
I'm not going to live by their rules anymore.
I think people place too much emphasis on their careers. I wish we could all live in the mountains at high altitude. That's where I see myself in five years. How about you?
I haven't done this since I was a kid.
Would you like to sit and stare at the fake fire?
This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you!
You want a prediction about the weather? You're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: it's gonna be cold, it's gonna be gray, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
That's not bad for a quadruped. You gotta check your mirror. Just, side of your eye, side of your eye.
You like boats but not the ocean.
Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on his smiling face a dream of spring.
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