It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans.
I'm boiling a roast. How hot and wet do you like it?
I know, Ed. Life isn't always fair. Just think, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.
By the way, I faked every orgasm.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Don't fire the gun while you're talking.
When I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.
You really mean that, Jane? You're not just saying it because we exchanged bodily fluids.
It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Very hot, and awfully wet.
You've read the ad, now see the movie!
I'm Lt. Frank Drebin. Police Squad. And don't ever let me catch you guys in America!
Here's something we developed only yesterday. To the casual observer an ordinary shoe. But in actuality it makes quite a handy weapon. And everything a cop in the field would need. We call it the Swiss Army Shoe.
How about dinner? I know this little out of the way place that serves great viking food.
Her hair was the color of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. She was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket.
Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest for one minute until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.
Everywhere I look something reminds me of her.
Nothing to see here. Please disperse.